beanreindeerpiccy

On Boxing Day, after we had been to the sales and had everyone over for dinner we got a call none of us were expecting. The phone rang around 8:30pm, I answered it expecting it to be my dad, it wasn’t. There was a lady at the end of the line asking to speak to me. She said she got my details from the Petlog register.

The Petlog register is used to store owners details when pets are micro chipped. If the pet is brought in to the vets for any reason the vet can use a scanner to check for a microchip. If the pet has a microchip the owners details can then be found using the unique microchip number.

Bean went missing in May for 5 months so when she said PetLog I thought she was phoning to do a survey or to ask about the service since we were very lucky and got bean back after 5 long months. The lady on the phone continued to say “we have Bean here” (He had a shaved patch on his back from when he went to the vets to have a bite wound treated) so I assumed someone had handed him in or he had wandered off and someone thought he was lost. I wasn’t prepared for what she said next. “I’m very sorry, Bean was involved in a RTA (road traffic accident) and has died.” I can feel it as I write this the emptiness I feel in my heart for him, the little bit of me that went with him when he died. He had a special place in everyone’s heart he was such a funny, affectionate cat.

I didn’t know what to say, I think I said okay…. I couldn’t have said anything worse, as of course it’s not okay it will never be okay that he’s gone, he was only a year and a half old. She asked me if we would like to collect his body or what we would like to do and at that point I don’t even know what I thought. I asked her if we could think about it and call them back in the morning. I took her number, I thanked her, I hung up and I cried my eyes out.

I tried to make sense of it but I couldn’t, I couldn’t understand how things had gone from happy to sad so quickly. How we had got him back only for him to be taken away from us again. I know deep down there is no explanation and sometimes accidents happen, it had been a dark rainy night when it happened. I do believe that perhaps he was too special to stay here and had something else he had to do.

Rua our kitten has hardly been out since it happened and we can’t remember if she was outside when it happened or not. A couple of weeks before the accident happened we were walking to the shop and I saw two cats run underneath a parked car which was on the road at the back of our house. As we got closer I realised it was Bean and Rua, luckily they ran back up the alley when we shouted. I just hope that they weren’t playing chase when it happened, I hope Rua didn’t see it.

I do think that somewhere in all of this there was a sign. When the lady on the phone gave me the vets details I realised it wasn’t a vet we had used before so  I looked it up on the internet to see how far away it was. I went onto the contact detail page and the head office is based in our home town in Scotland. That’s quite a big coincidence thinking it could have been anywhere in the UK. I like to think it’s a sign that he’s gone home and he’s letting us know he’s perhaps up there with family. It certainly gives me a bit of comfort thinking that.

I wish more than anything I could change it, I keep wondering if maybe they’ve made a mistake. Maybe two cats were brought in at the same time, maybe he’s okay, but I know he’s not it’s just hard facing up to that. We loved him, he will always be a member of the family who was loved and cherished.

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RIP Bean – Until we see you again x